I don’t know how most of you will be able to relate to this, but I for one am facing a… walking into adulthood crisis (WIAC). And what the heck is that?
Let me explain.
Since we were in school, we always had a step of things moving forward. Like from elementary you knew you would go to middle school, then high school and then college… and here you sit at your first job with all these individuals around you thinking, so what next?
Now don’t get me wrong. I know where I am heading with this on the work front. Like, work for a couple of years an do a post graduate degree. But… what after? Whats the point?
Whats the meaning of all this and whats my goal?
And the answer I have right now: I. Dont. Know.
And frankly? Its unnerving at times. I don’t know what I am suppose to do anymore and there are so many things running around in my head, I am unable to find a direction for myself. The mere thought of being an adult is scary at times because you realize have this clear expanse of life and you don’t know how to fill it in. What do you do? Whats the point?
I know, hard truth isn’t it? One day, you are happy and cheery at your first real job, invigorated with this whole realm of fascination and the next, you question your entire existence. Why does that even happen? You dont know. What can you do to it? Hmm….
So lets do something, I am going to write a list of things I can do to stop myself from fearing a blank life’s canvas and continue being motivated in doing what I do. That is living.
Achievable in nature and not something totally out of the blue. Things like, lost a few kilos (or pounds) saving up to buy this really expensive bag, that classy dress or finish that book you always wanted to read or tv show series you always wanted to see (Dr, Who for me!). So many things to keep yourself occupied with, because the last thing you want to feel is… that your life leads absolutely no where. And not like, this is going to give you the meaning of life and achieve nirvana, but… it will help you look forward to something ALL the time. And really that’s what counts the most. Small little things.
Oh boy. Lists. Any kind of list, EVERY kind of list. Just write things you always wanted to do, or get, or try or something. Anything. Take a notebook, some colored pencils or glitter pens ( you know you want to use them shiny things) and write down every god damn thing you want to achieve/want/say/try/wish for. As the lists grown bigger you know that you aren’t lost at all. You have all these hopes and dreams and aspirations, and you are continuously doing something every day to achieve them. Today is just one day. Let it pass.
Write like the world is producing too much paper and you are its only hope to use them and stop the world from turning into an over spill of paper. Ohkay, that was a horrible metaphor but you get the point. I kid you not, for me, writing has been the only constant thing in my life as the world around me changes. Change is not a bad thing but it gets you down at times knowing things will not be the same. And everyone always has a lot to think about, but not a lot of trust worthy individuals to share them with, so why not write down everything that is in your head? It will keep you calm if you are anxious, settled if you are jumpy and clear if you get all muddles up inside with all thats going around you.
Thats what I am doing right now and its helping me chill the fudge out. Its normal to feel this way, I know I am feeling unsettled and anxious about the future but I also know that right now there is nothing I can do about it immediately. So, I am just breathing and letting things fall into place. Sounds so simple, doesnt it.
That’s all I can do right now. Yes, I still feel a little vulnerable on a few fronts but that doesn’t mean I am going to hide myself from experiencing life in all its adventurous glory. Yes, we all have those days and I don’t think there is anything wrong in feeling that way once in a while. It just gives us clarity on the things we HAVE to think about. So its fine. Its perfectly fine. Lets just not make a habit out of it, otherwise it just makes you a whole lot pessimistic.
Hi, I am feeling a little off today and I think its perfectly normal to do so. I am now going to go home after work, make myself green tea and find a friend to talk to while sitting on a bunch of pillows and throwing a huge blanket over myself. Aaaahhhh. =]
What are you going to do? Let me know!
Pictures courtesy Google.